The Travel Chica

Live Simple. Consume Less. Experience More.

My Daily Toilet Paper Allowance and More Bazaar Rules

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In my last post, I introduced you to Cruella, my landlady/ roommate in the apartment I rented for one month in Buenos Aires.  The best way to make a bad situation better is to find the humor in it, right?  I am not laughing, but I figured you all might be amused by some of her ridiculous rules and demands.

Toilet Paper Rationing

One day Cruella came into my room to inform me that I should not use the toilet paper to blow my nose.  I need to buy my own tissues at the store.  Yes, I have had a cold for a week.  But the woman has never actually seen me use toilet paper to blow my nose, since I do everything possible to avoid her.  Cruella has simply determined from the rate of toilet paper use, that I must be using more than she has rationed me.

I must have missed the toilet paper squares allotment in the rental contract.

No Privacy

The day after I signed my lease and moved in, I was informed that I must keep my bedroom door open when I am not in the bedroom, including when I leave the house.  This is because she stores things in the closets that she needs every single day, which was not previously disclosed.

This would mean that I could never leave anything sitting on the table, the floor, or the bed because her evil dog would come in and grab it.  The mutt is especially fond of socks and pieces of paper.

I must open my bedroom window to air out the room when I leave.  If I don’t do this, I will discover when I come back home that she has gone into my room and opened the window anyways.  Never mind that it is freezing outside. Probably the reason my cold won’t go away.

Electricity Police

I am all for saving money and not being wasteful, but Cruella takes it to a whole new level.  If I walk out of a room that I plan to return to in 15 seconds, I get a lecture from Cruella about turning off the light.

Note that this rule does not apply to Cruella, and I often walk into the house and discover the living room and kitchen lights on.

Socks

I have no idea why, but Cruella demands that I wear socks when walking through the house.  Maybe in addition to believing “Gringos don’t take of things,” she believes we have dirty feet.

Door Handle

When I open the apartment door, I am to push it open touching the key only.  I must never touch the handle.  Maybe similar to the socks rule, she doesn’t want my dirty fingerprints on the brass.

Dining

I cannot eat in my bedroom.  Okay, understandable.  But I also cannot eat or even sit at the dining room table.  It can only be used when she cooks dinner for her friends.

I have to eat all meals and snacks at the teeny-tiny table crammed into the kitchen while her a–hole dog barks at me and sticks his snout in my lap.

Kitchen Use

Everything must be stored in its proper place.

I get reprimanded for not knowing where I should put something according to her anal-retentive storage system.

  • Vegetables must be stored on the lower shelf of the refrigerator.
  • Jelly must be stored in the side door of the refrigerator.
  • Oatmeal must be stored in the “cereal tin,” and spices must be stored in the “spice tin.”  Of course these tins are not actually labeled, and they are scattered randomly throughout the house.

Instead of having one small shelf where I can keep all my food, it is now spread throughout the house in her random storage spaces.  It takes me 10 minutes to gather up the ingredients to make dinner.

I cannot touch anything that is worth more than $2.

I am not allowed to touch most things in the kitchen, especially electrical devices.  In Cruella’s experience, Gringos don’t take care of things.

  • Coffee maker is off-limits.  I can only drink coffee when Cruella is at home to make it for me.
  • I can only use one pan that is 5 inches wide.  So much for cooking both vegetables AND meat for dinner.  I have to choose one thing that will fit in the tiny pan.
  • I can only use one knife.
  • But if I am cutting garlic or onions, there is a DIFFERENT knife.  How do I know this rule?  Because Cruella sniffs her knives.  I cut garlic for my lunch while Cruella was out one afternoon, and I came home to a lecture about the proper knife to use.
photo of the plethora of cooking utensils I am NOT allowed to use.
Photo of kitchen
A nice, fully equipped kitchen.

Cooking

About a week after I moved in, Cruella decided I am now only allowed to cook lunch from 12-1pm and dinner from 6:30-7:30pm.  If I’m not able to schedule my meals during those times, I cannot cook.  There have been many meals of cereal or cheese and crackers due to this new rule.

I came home one afternoon to discover the below note on the kitchen counter.  Apparently, my cooking smells bad and she doesn’t want the smell infiltrating her home.  Now I must be sure to open the kitchen windows and shut the kitchen door whenever I cook.

Photo of note

I am sure there will be new rules and reprimands tomorrow.

If anyone else has horror stories about renting a room while traveling, please share.  I need to laugh at someone else’s misery too!

Read part 3 of the Cruella saga: The Day Cruella Put Me Out on the Street

Comments

  3. OMG SHE’S NUTS!

    Although I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the unlabelled cereal and spice tins!

    Oh, Cruella. I kind of want to stay there for a week, just for comedy value.
    Tom recently posted..Dalkgalbi Street

  4. Hey Stephanie! Do you thought I will not find you on the web? We will have a talk later about posting in your blog about me.

    Thanks, Cruella

  8. hahaha, wow. You told me some stories but this is really ridiculous. I´m not surprised, the old ladies in Argentina can be pretty crazy, especially if they are not fans of Americans.
    Rease recently posted..Traveling Vietnam by Train

  10. Well, heres a horror story for you. When i was renting a room in Almaty/ Kazahkstan, every time i was taking a shower or was shaving in the bathroom. The grandma ( 1200 years) who lived there, always took a loud dump in the toilet next to me. The rooms were separated by 2 cm of wall. Nice to listen to when you,re brushing you,re teeth
    Neil Skywalker recently posted..Russia- Irkutsk – Lake Baikal and Ulan Ude

  11. That woman is completely insane!! I don’t think I have ever heard of someone so demented in my life! Thank goodness you are moving out of there and getting a place with Ayngelina. No one should ever rent a room from that woman again.

    I’ll say this (jokingly, of course) – I could think of a good use for one of those utensils you are allowed to use in the kitchen! :)
    Jeremy B recently posted..A day in the lives of Scottish Games professional athletes

  12. Oh no, this would be so funny if it didn’t actually happen to you. It sounds like she has some serious problems. Glad that you are now staying with Ayngelina.
    Laurel recently posted..Plansee Photo

  13. I’m completely entertained. When you posted your first blog about this woman I just knew that she stirred up Captain Shorty and some good stuff was soon to come! Haha! 😀

  16. Poor you… I know their kind. I’m talking about those viejas de mierda I happened to run into from time to time. There’s obviously no fix for this woman. Run away and visit Rosario jeje. I hope it gets better or for time to pass quick so you find something better.

  17. What a strange woman! I actually rented some student housing in Malta where our landlord (a 40-some year old business man) announced one evening that he would be spending the night in our spare room because our house was an hour closer to the capitol than his. His wife came to prepare the bed for him that afternoon… a lot of work for a shorter commute, no?
    Jessie recently posted..How Travel Teaches Minimalism

  19. Makes you appreciate home (& home when you lived with Mom) much more! Is the remark from Cruella really from Cruella? I’m so glad you are not living there any more. Does Ayngelina live in BA? When will you be off to Chile & Peru?
    Mom

  21. OMG, what an awful woman. I don’t know how you stayed. You made the most of the situation by writing something people will find moving and shocking. Ugh, I hope you are elsewhere by now.
    Lisa recently posted..Rome… Life in Photos

    • Well, the huge amount of money I paid her for the room was the reason I stayed. I thought, “Yes, I can leave but if I do, I am cutting my overall trip short X number of days.”

      I had a strategy to just be out of the house most of the time, but I got really sick when I moved in and could barely move without coughing up a lung.
      The Travel Chica recently posted..My Daily Toilet Paper Allowance and More Bazaar Rules

  22. She’s like the Suite Nazi. I think you should take your daily allotment of TP and leave a message trail as you get the hell outta there. One letter per sheet. Start with F, end with U. I’m confident you can fill in the blanks. She’ll be happy it should only take 7 sheets…
    Raymond recently posted..7 Habits of Highly Ineffective Hotels

  23. The first room I rented when I moved to London was also with the landlady, absolutely NUTS, to put it mildly. She had so many little rules (such as cleaning the bathroom floor with a toothbrush) that I realized she was driving me crazy.
    I lasted two months, than we had a massive fight and I moved out, bringing with me the other flatmate who was afraid to stay in the house with her without me lol!
    Basically we couldn’t do anything in *her* house that we *happened* to pay each month, and we constantly had to live with the fact that she smoked non-stop day and night. She even freaked out when my parents came to visit me for two days.
    Of course when we left with my other flatmate we used to remember her craziness laughing, but when we were still in that house it wasn’t funny at all (or maybe sometimes it was :P). It helped that we were two…
    You can never know who you are going to find when you move in a new flat, even when you move with friends you might have unpleasant surprises. In some 13 years that I’ve been alternating living alone and sharing with others, I’ve become completely tolerant, but since that house in London I have one rule: never, EVER, share the flat with the owner, you won’t enjoy your stay.
    You are staying only one month, spend as much time as you can outdoor and your days will fly. Afterwards you will have lots of juicy material for your blog 😛
    Angela recently posted..In Beijing- following the Silk Road

  24. Agh! The horror! I would definetely take some sort of revenge on this woman, or at least try to warn any potential future victims.

    I had a horror story too, in Madrid. There was this creepster, Juan, renting out rooms in a beautifully located house by the Palace and the main square. The location was a dream, but he was a nightmare. He insisted in living in the house, and the rooms he rented out were 4, which he only rented out to girls. Soon we all found out he was a pervert. Besides, we couldn’t have guests over, PLUS, he ate all our food! Anything we stored in the house was at his disposal, and none of the rooms had doors, just curtains, and he reserved the right to enter our rooms at any time. Eventually we also found out that all his neighbors hated him too (meeting the neighbors before you lease a room in a flat is a good idea too). I was 21 at that time and I honestly don’t know what I was thinking after having stayed there for 2 months, I put myself in a bad and potentially dangerous situation. Good thing nothing ever happened to me.
    GlobeTrotterTex recently posted..Things I Hate About France- Frosting or lack thereof

  27. This is almost too nuts to believe! Are you sure you didn’t eat some hallucinagenic mushrooms in the jungle? Seriously though, I hope you are able to move on soon and maybe get some payback.

    • I think it is because she is a little old lady, and I was trying to be respectful. Then after about 5 days as I wrote in my last post, I couldn’t take her abuse anymore and stood up for myself. After the argument, there were few words between us. Only her telling me new rules and me rolling my eyes and holding back the urge to use my Spanish curse words.
      The Travel Chica recently posted..Recoleta vs Chacarita – The Winner Is…

  32. This is hilarious! I can’t believe someone can be so anal about little things! What a crazy lady! Still, you had an interesting experience from it and it’ll give you lots of things to tell your family and friends in the future!
    Harriet recently posted..Mobile Phone Exchange

  35. Sorry you were suffering, but hopefully you’ll eventually find it funny. Well, now that you’re living with the good kind of crazy you probably are laughing.

    Toilet paper ration? I would so fail at that because my TP consumption is the one environmentally unfriendly thing I continue to do. Then, her and I would have it out, so out.

    I would blow my nose in her TP and rub it all over the untouchable appliances.

    She is clearly a control freak with OCD tendencies. And I second the others. NEVER live with the landlord. It’s like having an unwanted parent. Ick.
    Nomadic Chick recently posted..India- You Own Me

  36. Wow! Why would a woman like Cruella ever consider renting out a room?! And she sniffs her knives!!! HAHAHAHA! This is hilarious to read, I’m sure it wasn’t humorous living with her. I’m going to miss the Cruella stories…

  37. Found your site from baconismagic, and i love it! This lady sounds absolutely horrible and it reminds me so much of my host mom when i studied abroad. We were there for only 2 weeks when the shower overflowed and she pulled out black hair from the drain (me being a blonde) and demanded that i had clogged up the shower and should pay for it. I´d say that half the people who rent out their houses to foreigners are like this.

    • Welcome! Glad you found me. I have been a bacon fan for a while now :-)

      It is sad to hear you had a similar experience abroad. I have seen multiple posts on baexpats.org about bad landlords taking advantage of foreigners. It is a shame!

  39. mmmmmm, dulce de membrillo! 😛

    I’m guessing this woman is single…although i’d also understand if she’s divorced. Or even a widow…

  41. I lived with my grandfather for a year in Beirut, and I think he deliberately tried to make my stay at his place a bad experience. I think it will be rude for me to talk about him in too much details, since he is my grandfather. So let’s just leave it at you’re not the only one to have such experiences! :)

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