I have chosen to write about this topic now as an outlet for my frustration. It was something I knew I would experience as a “gringa” traveling alone in Latin America. And I knew the appropriate way to handle it was to ignore it. Don’t look. Don’t say anything. Pretend you didn’t hear anything. And I have done that. But for some reason, in Granada the sexual harassment is really getting on my nerves. Maybe it’s because it is worse here than anywhere I have been. Maybe it’s because I actually understand what they are saying now. Maybe it’s because I now know how to say what I want to say to them in Spanish. But I know better. If you make any sort of acknowledgment, you are giving them the attention they want. It is showing interest. They don’t really care if that interest is positive or negative.
So how do the men here intimidate a solo female? The most annoying is the kissing noise. It seems that the men of Central America think that making a loud, obnoxious kissing noise is something that might make you want to stop and chat and maybe sleep with them. Whether they are standing on a street corner as you pass or they are riding on a bike or passing you in a car, this is the standard. You will also hear common words or phrases such a “linda/ lindita” (pretty) or “chela/ chelita” (Central American slang for a blond, fair-skinned, blue-eyed woman according to Wikipedia). Then you have the guys that decided they needed to learn a little English. They say “hello” or “hi” or “bye” repeatedly to try to get your attention. I even got “hot mama” once; the guy probably learned it from a bad 80s movie. My favorite English phrase is “I love you.” Say it with a deep voice and thick accent; it’s quite amusing. Sometimes I think (and maybe secretly hope) that the men will actually crash their bicycles or cars when they drive by and turn their heads to stare for an absurdly long amount of time.
You may be wondering if I’m not dressing appropriately. Well, the fact is it’s about 300 degrees here, and I sweat day and night. After five minutes walking yesterday at 10am, I actually had sweat dripping off of my face, and the entire back of my shirt was soaked. So it’s not exactly realistic to wear pants and long sleeves constantly. And even when I have been in less sweltering climates and wearing jeans and long sleeves, it hasn’t made a difference. When I look around, I am dressed no less conservatively than other travelers (in fact I’m a little shocked by the number of teeny-tiny skirts and midriff baring shirts I see some of them wearing). In most cases, I am also dressed no less conservatively than the local women my age. I have been told that when Latin American men see a woman traveling alone, they assume she must be promiscuous and that she is traveling for that purpose. It seems like ridiculous logic to me, but I’m certainly not going to validate this theory with any of the douche bags that make the kissing noise when I walk by.
I know that things would be different if I were traveling with a male companion. When I was with Juan in Quito and in San Juan del Sur, there were no comments when we were walking together. When I’ve walked around town with male travelers from my hostel, there have not been such aggressive and loud comments. But the fact is that most of the time I am alone, and this is something I just have to live with here. I am looking forward to getting to South America where I think the cultures are a little more respectful, at least when it comes to sexually harassing women.
This is not the point where I go on about how I should be able to walk around without a male escort without being harassed. I’m not going to change the culture here. I doubt these men are reading my blog and are going to suddenly realize the error of their ways. This is the part where I amuse myself by creating a completely unscientific ranking of the places I’ve traveled thus far in terms of sexual harassment (1 being the worst). And yes, leering counts as sexual harassment.
- Granada, Nicaragua
- San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua
- Leon, Nicaragua
- Quito, Ecuador
- La Libertad/ Costa del Balsamo, El Salvador
- The Bay Islands, Honduras
- Mexico City, Mexico
- Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
- Antigua, Guatemala – no harassment at all, mainly just men staring
- Juayua, El Salvador – no harassment at all
Congratulations, Nicaragua! You are the winner! But since I enjoyed the culture and the beauty and the low cost of living of your country so much, I will return to explore more. Maybe next time with a man in tow.
Sorry to hear you are so frustrated by this. After being in Latin America 10 months I can tell you it’s just part of the culture and you’ll learn to ignore it like the local girls do.
The kissing I don’t mind as much as the hissing.
Funnily enough it doesn’t happen as much in South America but then again, just because they speak the same language doesn’t make it the same cultural experience.
Oh, yes, the hissing. I do hate that because it seems much more aggressive. I just find the kissing noise to be such an annoying sound.
I don’t understand why men don’t understand the regal nature of women!
I hear your story and how I hate that people can think men own women!
When I was in Belize in 1990, I and a beautiful friend of mine was walking down main street Belize City. A man came up to me and ask if he could take us in his boat to a resort. I said “no”. He asked again and I refused again. He then asked, “How much do you want for your woman?”. I, of course, said “she wasn’t for sale.” We quickly went into a store and I teased, “How much do you think I could have got?”. She hit me, of course!
There doesn’t seem to be the respect deserved. Atlantic Monthly had an interesting story called “End of men” (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-end-of-men/8135) that shows how that it is women who have the upper hand in this new age!
Chin up! It’s not worth it letting a few ignorant blokes shift your focus from joy to frustration. Remember why you’re traveling to begin with and let everything else go.
Although I must admit that a smile comes to my face when I picture you going all “Bruce Lee” on their butts!
do any of the buses or trucks have a built-in wolf whistle, like as their horn? that amused me in Mexico
I have not experienced that yet. Men are just so creative.
Well men can certainly be pigs (at least some men). But like the guy above says, it’s really not worth identifying with the asshole culturalal aspect. Granada certainly is a pretty town, I was there for Semana Santa a couple years ago. You are awesome for traveling in Latin America by yourself. Most women would not have the guts, consciousness or self-empowerment to do so. So keep on trucking and going for the real heart connections along the way!
WOW. Well hey chica momma! lol. I understand your frustrations. I have travelled that region of the world A LOT. The thing is that in the good ole USA, but you do not frequent those kina of areas, Colubus is more professional. Trust me hit a lower income urban area like west side Dayton or just north of the “city” of cincinnati, or better yet a “lower income” country bar in the south inUSA and you will get the same responses. Heck Appalation area – forget it – I was there with a group of people hit a few bars and after 3 nights the women that were traveling with us got tired of being groped and so we all just had a party at the out at the hotel. So put USA on your list too.
This really sucks for you, sorry. While there is nothing wrong with respectfully admiring a cute girl from a far (i’ve been known to do it from time to time, lol), hissing/kissing/leering is just disgusting, and I am ashamed to share the same sex as these guys, honestly.
Do you see it as a class issue or strictly culture?
I was thinking about this post again after someone told me about the journalist being raped in Egypt and knowing the issue with sexual harassment there.
It did remind me that Central America it is different. While men may hiss and cat call, they will never come up and touch you unlike in many other countries. In fact the men who hiss only seem to do it behind your back never to your face.
Thanks to all for the support. This is an obvious cultural difference that I had learned to live with and ignore as soon as I got here. But I think whenever we are immersed in another culture, there comes a point where those things we have learned to live with become annoying and harder to ignore.
And don’t worry…. it’s not getting in the way of enjoying the experience. I know that I will one day be rewarded by watching a leering man ride his bike into a stopped vehicle, and I will laugh my ass off and take a picture and tell you all about it.
hey Stephanie, been enjoying your blog when the time allows. About South America being “better” than Central America, my experience would tend to disagree. I think in the more developed countries like Argentina and Brazil it is a little better (or at least when I was there). but the less developed countries like Peru its the same unfortunately. When I was there, it was exactly as you described.
You will have to comment later on whether South was better than Central overall.
I just read this great article another traveler wrote about sexual harassment.
http://glimpse.org/ethical-dilemma-when-does-cultural-difference-become-sexual-harassment/
Hi Stephanie,
Thank you for your article. It gave voice to some of my frustrations. I hope you are ok with me voicing some of my here frustrations/experiences as well. I have been traveling/living in Guatemala and Mexico for the last year and a half, and I am getting to the point that its beyond frustrating for me. I have a bit of a different story as I have lived in this little pueblo on lake Atitan for the last 8 months. Ive gotten to know many people here over the last months and its been almost non-stop sexual harassment for me. When I was renting a house and even living with several male travelers, two different local men thought they could come over and pound on my door and insist on coming in to tell everyone about their problems whenever they were drunk. Ive also experienced locals that are boyfriends or husbands of my female local friends who wanted to do “language exchange” with me, and then inappropriately touched me or tried to kiss me. A local man I was considering renting a house from- showed up drunk when he was going to show me the house and somewhat threateningly told me he intended to live in the house with me and then tried to kiss me. I even have a dude who works downstairs in a restaurant that I live above, who introduced me to his wife and kids, and then whenever I’m in the restaurant alone- whispers to proposition me for sex- even after I told him very harshly to stop bothering me and I was not interested. Its just disgusting. Not to mention the drunk men who whistle and then stare and start touching themselves after I have walked by. And I’m getting really tired of the foreigner men and couples that live here just telling me its because I’m pretty, and that I should just get over it. Its caused a lot of tension for me, because its a small town and you always run into everyone. I dont even want to go out anymore, sucks because I am really independent and love doing things alone. I love lake Atitlan, but maybe its time to look for a different place to live- with foreigners- or not in central or south america.
I also have had no problems when walking with male friends, local women, or in the middle of town around lots of other people- its a totally different story when Im not “alone”. Its really stupid that I can’t be alone, sit in a restaurant or go walk down by the beach without dealing with some sort of harassment- even though I personally know or work with more than half the town. I dont have a point, I guess I just needed an outlet to my frustrations as well. It does take lots of guts to travel in central America as a single female. Props to all of us and thanks for the blog post!
Diana,
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. It is a difficult situation. We choose to experience other places, and sometimes that comes with things that aren’t in alignment with our values or that make us feel bad. As you pointed out, it takes courage. Props to you for not letting it ruin the good part of the experience.